Anybody that has ever travelled in a group larger than 1 person
will know, trying to organise a successful trip that covers what
everybody wants to do is just about impossible. The more people
involved, the harder it is to listen to everybody. So to make things
easy, I'm not going to listen to anybody at all. This trip will not
be organised as a democracy, but a dictatorship, and I am your Kim
Jong-Il. At the end of next year I will be going to Vietnam. I will
be following the itinerary outlined below. If you would like to join
me on my adventure, awesome! If you want to do something different,
grab your handbag, and head to Wendy
Wu Tours.
I will be organising the trip based around riding bikes the
majority of the way, but I will make some effort to plan a second
alternative transport trip for those who don't want to ride. The
roads in Vietnam can be pretty nuts. On the highways, the oncoming
trucks WILL cross to our side of the road to overtake other trucks,
forcing us into the gutter. There WILL be cattle on the road. We will
most likely all get a flat tire at some point due to the fact that
nobody has fitted a new tire to a motorbike in Vietnam since 1982.
Pedestrians WILL step out in front of you without looking. And that's
ignoring all the mayhem associated with the other riders (there are
over 3 million motorbikes/scooters in Saigon alone). Oh yeah, and we
will be riding 5-6 hours on some days. So unless you have at least
some experience riding, I suggest you take the alternative route. If
you just want to do a bit of riding, you can hire a bike for a few
days in one of the major stops.
Info For the Riders
The Trail (overview)
The trip will be starting in Hanoi in mid to late December. We
will get in, find a bike shop, tell them how many bikes we need, and
then go on a few short trips while they round enough up for us.
First up will be a few days in Sapa up in the mountains near the
Chinese border. We will get there by overnight train as the road is
bullshit hard, and it would take us days on the bikes. Return to
Hanoi by will be on the train again.
Next is Ha Long Bay for a 3 day 2 night booze cruise run by Hanoi
Backpackers Hostel. I've done it twice, it's fucking awesome.
Then we will pick up our bikes and start heading south. The first
leg will be the toughest, it's ~900km to Hoi An, and We'll be aiming
to do it in three days. Overnight stops TBA. We'll be in Hoi An for 2
or 3 nights before getting back on the bikes.
Nha Trang is the next on the list, it'll take us 2 days from Hoi
An (overnight stop is again TBA. There's heaps of awesome shit to do
in Nha Trang, so aiming for ~5 days here.
Pushing south again we will head to Mui Ne, another beach town,
quieter than Nha Trang, but supposedly the beaches are a bit nicer.
Finally we will head to Saigon, just for a few days to make sure
we have time to sell the bikes.
The Gear
When we get our bikes they will most likely come with a free
helmet. This helmet was a piece of shit when it was brand new. Since
then, it has most likely been worn by 50+ people, dropped a few
hundred times, and possibly used as a soccer ball. It will probably
be about as good as wearing an empty ice-cream container on your
head. For $60 from MCAs (or ~$50 on ebay) you can get an Australian
approved helmet which will be far better than anything in Vietnam, I
recommend buying one of these if you dont have a helmet already.
Also, if you have a big head, you might struggle to find a helmet to
fit you over there.
As far as other gear goes, you definitely should bring some
gloves. Jeans will be ok for riding in, kevlar ones are better if you
have them, but I wouldn't buy them just for this trip. I'll also be
taking a jacket. We should be able to get saddlebags with the bikes,
so pack your stuff into a bag that can be easily folded away or
thrown out (and buy a cheap bag in Saigon for the trip home).
The Rules
We are going to be pushing pretty hard to stay on time for this
trip, so we can't pissfart around at the start of each day of riding.
The riding group will wait if:
- You are injured.
- You are sick.*
- Your bike has broken down.
- There is a tropical storm.
The riding group will not wait if:
- You are too hungover to ride.
- You decide you're not riding the rest of the way, and you
need to sell your bike and organise alternative transport.
- Your girlfriend/wife decides you're not riding the rest of
the way, and you need to sell your bike and organise alternative
transport.
- You fall in love with a backpacker, and want some more
bone-time before hitting the road.
- You decide you should actually be back home doing an MBA.
*As in really sick, if you get the shits, take an immodium.
Info for non-Riders
The Trail
Same as for the riders but without the stops between Hanoi and Hoi
An, and the stop between Hoi An and Nha Trang.
The Transport
The options to get between the stops are by plane, by bus, or by
train. In my opinion the overnight train is the best option. You can
get a soft sleeper bed (4 people per cabin), and people come through
selling beers etc so you can still have fun. It also works out
cheaper as you're paying one less nights accommodation. If you have
more to spend, then by al means fly. The overnight buses are the last
resort.
More detailed info to come as I work out exact dates and stops.
Well done Kim Rod-Il, as you're now dead can we assume you've handed the reins over to your highly incompetent son, Robably Jong-Un?
ReplyDeleteHi Rob!
Start looking at posting approximate prices for alt travel and imposing deadlines. As you've pointed out, organising a trip to the cinema with this group can take upwards of 90 emails, and that's before Tree starts introducing imaginary exams.